I use this site only seldom at best. It’s rare that I post anything to it.
Life is complex, it has its ups and its downs, its ins and its outs. Good things, bad things and lots and lots of things that aren’t either – they just are.
Yeah. Yeah. And everyone knows all that – so why waste time and space writing it?
Why indeed. Really how often do we THINK about those facts? When bad stuff happens, we rail against it and scream and yell – but how often are those bad things ™ of our own doing? And when they are, why don’t we realize it?
Because we often aren’t honest with ourselves. Some bad things are, in fact, our fault. But, as importantly (and I’m frequently telling people in my life this) some things are NOT. Some bad things are entirely the fault of other people and, no matter what we did or did not do, they would have happened anyway. A storm that hits? That’s not our fault and we cannot and should not bemoan it. Just deal with it as best as you can and move on. Cancer? Well it might be your fault (from previous life choices) or maybe it’s just one of those random rolls of the dice genes do. Maybe it’s a combination of the two. Getting angry about it will solve nothing. You can just deal with it and hope it works out.
Other people are like this too. Sometimes you have a friend and, for whatever reason, you drift apart, or they make a choice that forces you out. While sometimes these things might be our fault – many times they have nothing at all to do with us. They might be entirely things internal to that person. Or things related purely to their dynamic with others that they let influence their relations with us.
Think about it folks. Think about it hard and do not always blame yourself.
Or, as William Gibson so famously said, “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first be sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes.”